Dear Steven Tyler,

I was so sorry to hear about the incident in South Dakota. I understand that you zigged when you should have zagged. I hate when that happens!

You have been much on my mind since the accident and the subsequent, devastating news that your tour would have to be cancelled. I hope you are taking it easy and recovering as swiftly as can be expected. Are you in a neck brace? Is it festooned with flowing scarves? I like to think so.

Steven Tyler, my love for you and for the Aerosmith is deep and it is true. I have seen you in concert; I have read your book. Your music delights me, as does your affection for/mangling of the English language. You have never met a pun you didn’t like, and I respect that.

I kind of want to lick you. Even though I know it’d likely be fatal.

Dearest Steven Tyler, you think that’s where it’s at, but is that where it’s s’posed to be? You’re getting it all over me.

I shall have to save the lengthy dissertation on the greatness that is the Tyler and the Aerosmith for some other time, but I heard you on the radio this morning and wanted to send a heartfelt get well soon. You’re the one that jaded me, ST.

Love,

The Girl on the Swing

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