When TGOTS and I ended our regular posting on this blog in the spring, I must admit it was somewhat of a relief. The daily grind was starting to get to me, and with a baby coming any minute I was distracted by other things. But as I drove home this morning after dropping that little baby off at daycare for the very first time, choking back tears, the only thing I wanted to do was come back to my desk and write an entry here.

I’ve nothing particularly coherent to say, nor any song to tie it to. Well, there was some lovely Handel on the local classical station, and a new DJ who seems to be from New Zealand (if my Flight of the Conchords education is serving me properly), so those were salves of a sort. But my primary car-radio experience of late has been static — that is, funneling the white noise of radio static through the back left speaker of my little VW in an effort to get my screaming baby, just out of arm’s reach, to settle down. (Note to desperate parents: it works.)

That’s about the only static thing in our lives lately. New baby, daycare for baby, new preschool for Jr. this week, efforts at potty training, efforts at bottle training, whole new rhythms to get used to. And me back at work today, trying to remember how to do my job (remembering my computer password was hard enough) and wishing I could afford not to.

All of this is small, in the grand scheme of things — and all of it is wonderful, from some perspective. I mean, how lucky am I to have what I have. But I also want what I had: long, slow days of sprinklers and stroller walks and berry eating, tantrums and diapers and nursing. Today it’s back to reality, or what passes for reality … and away we go.

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